Charlie’s Journal

Touching might be okay in certain situations.

Held hands with Thandi after fiasco at party.

Sort of. 

Touched hands.

Didn’t not like it.

Must continue to test and see if it is just anomaly.

T very impressive. Stood up to so many people. Wish I had the balls. The onion as shitty and insufferable as before.

We will be released into the Haven proper. Keeping rooms at the Center.

If I am going to stay, will they move me someday?

Feel bad for N. She wants to go back to the Library. If I got to work at the Library, I may even be pleased to be Labor. Depending on the contract.

Maybe just visit.

Worried.

Obstacle course. Relatively easy— N did shockingly well. Very creative. I am not creative like that.

T did shockingly poorly. She asked us to compete with her but I felt so bad I could not manage to compete. Tried to soften the landing. Literally, once.

A bit frightened of C with the shadow pop thing.

SC shiny and enthusiastic.

S too competitive.

Y… flew sometimes, with fire. Distressing to watch.

T gave us more scrolls. About to contact J.

Contacted J and Mother. Going opposite direction. With Izar? The one I was going to marry. Izar likely part of this outfit keeping me here.

T had said she will submit for our release and I do not want to go back. I am scared.

Have job and studying all time.

Noticed changing easier when knowing how to arrange everything.

N excellent study partner. Gets it. May even shake hands like colleague some day.

SC difficult to teach. Willing to learn but sometimes puts me off.

T enthusiastic teacher for magic now.

E confirms my bedside manner shit.

Became much. Weasel. Panther. Bear.

Was good and bad.

Never overwhelmed like that before.

Frightening.

Want to control it.

Embarrassed.

But did it for science.

Others tried as well. Mine could have been worse.

Talked to Mother using bizarre scroll. Confirmed: am literal bastard. Pros: Josiah is my father, Byron is not. Cons: Went through that shit for nothing?

Mother and J on the run. Know J will take care of Mother, has always had a system figured out for the day they ran. Don’t know when or if they will be okay. Likely be fine.

T offloaded information. She is as fucked as we are.

Notable: space. Planets. Different reality.

Notable: Imprisoned for years.

Notable: Studies to come.

Granted a journal. Will write.

Mother & Josiah status unknown.

T not answering questions. Need to probe more. Made me eat. (Beignet not bad.) Received pamphlet after “class”.

N seems like she will be good company.

Unknown about rest. No ETA for Mother & Josiah.

Questions:

• Is Josiah my father? Must ask Mother when I see her.
• Re: Magic. Is it energy?
• Great Tree Theory/Weave/Cosmic Body. Are these of Thandi’s people or independent research in other worlds?
• Where are these numbers coming from? Are people being observed without their knowledge?
• At what point does Thandi’s colonial roots intercept with other worlds to change the natural development of magic in another world?
• Primal magic is phrased as if it is lesser or more primitive to the other traditions. Why?
• Divine magic implies gods exist. Would that not make them another class of being, not necessarily gods?
• Occultism sounds more like human nature. Is human nature inherently magical? And in which case, would it not be more primitive than primal if it is bound to the nature of being alive and having a culture?
• Arcane magic sounds like the least natural way to use magic and while it claims to be the most developed, it requires the most schooling and force to work. Why? Education is great and all, but it can hardly be called the most developed if the biggest difference is that it is written down.
• Are you telling me that ghosts are real, too? Too much.
• The fuck are angels and demons now? Are these aliens?
• I don’t understand spirit. Is it the concept or the ability to change? Is it emotion, energy, what?
• Chemicals associated with mind, spirit, and life? These items are chemical?
• Mind is just the concept of the mind?
• What the fuck are you on about with computers and networks?
• What is the difference between animals with minds and without? Animals have minds, period.
• What the fuck is on about life being emotions? Life is should be defined otherwise.
• What the hell is a Leshie?
• What the fuck is an android?

Need to request the source books. Pamphlet only opens more questions.